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At the least I've got just OODLES of public speaking experience to trick people into thinking they like what I'm saying!

Big spoon. I'm too restless to be the little spoon!! ~~Which was hard because Holt w~~ You??

You do! And you've got charisma to spare! I think I might rub people the wrong way sometimes.

Ooooooooh, you know what? That's perfect, because I always had to be the big spoon when I secretly always wanted to be the little one.

Really?? I guess I was immediately blinded to anything like that.

I'm real good at big spooning too. You'll feel so snug and safe and secure, a good night's sleep is GUARANTEED!!

You'd be surprised how many people hated my check-up idea.

Oh, that sounds like a dream! This is all I want for Christmas now, in fact!

You know my brother was always weird about going to doctors and whatnot?? Might be something about health and masculinity butting heads way too much.

I can do SO much more than that, but it's good to know that if nothing else turns out right, I can just whisk you away somewhere private.

Yeah, definitely. Plus, y'know, everyone here being traumatized and trying to put on a brave face.

A proper snuggle could fix me, I think!

Trauma? I don't know her, never even heard the name.

Then snuggling you sounds like it's actually a moral prerogative!! Do I need to expedite the shipping??

Well, you're fine, but the rest of us them are all messed up!

Good things take time, but I'm willing to wait as long as it takes!

~~Oh I'm pre~~ Wo I guess it's clinging to the last little bit of denial you can grant yourself. Personally I think the checkups are a noble thing!

Maybe I should practice first. So I'm up to snuff by Christmas!!

I try the denial thing, but I just look more unhinged! I can't help it if I've got crazy eyes!

I wouldn't say no to that! I'm a great guinea pig!

The next Summit meeting is the day after tomorrow. And then it's Thanksgiving.

I'm just trying to remind myself that I don't got long to wait to see you, and there's no need to fake a medical emergency quite yet.

If you're going to fake a medical emergency, please give me a heads up so that I don't freak out.

I think I'll actually swear off the whole idea of real or fake medical emergencies altogether. Some good ol' fashioned yearning oughta do me some good!

You know what we should do? We should train some messenger pigeons to go back and forth to make it extra yearny.

I'm gonna need to find the PERFECT rock to stand on while I watch for your reply.

And I know where some pigeons are, so maybe I can lure one to do my bidding.

They like bread, right?

I think pigeons'll eat just about anything. I saw one eat a cigarette butt once??

Which makes me wonder how reliable they really are as messengers — something to add to the potential yearning!!

Edited (i think i think i think) 2024-11-26 04:23 (UTC)

That can't be good for them, can it? What if they get addicted to nicotine?

We could train a whole army of love letter pigeons working for cigarettes.

I got a feeling cigarettes are a lot more expensive than seeds these days. (ASIDE from the moral implications of exploiting their addiction!!)

You're so right. If I see any addicted pigeons, I'll try to help them quit instead.

In the meantime, I can just add these bad boys to texts:

🐦🕊️🐦🕊️🐦 Hey Blythe, you're a cutie! 🐦🕊️🐦🕊️🐦

🐦🕊️🐦🕊️🐦 Hey Niko, I'm thinking about your smile! 🐦🕊️🐦🕊️🐦

🐦🕊️🐦🕊️🐦 Hey Blythe, I'm thinking about yours even more! It's like a double rainbow, and I'm just as excited about it as that guy on YouTube! 🐦🕊️🐦🕊️🐦

🐦🕊️🐦🕊️🐦 Hey Niko, I just wanna thank you for existing! You make the total breakdown of the civilization we once knew feel like a blessing in disguise sometimes.
PS Am I supposed to tip these birds?? 🐦🕊️🐦🕊️🐦

🐦🕊️🐦🕊️🐦 Hey Blythe, thank YOU for being the best part of the end of society as we know it! We can give the birds some virtual snacks: 🥜🌰🥜🌰🥜🌰🥜🌰 🐦🕊️🐦🕊️🐦

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