After seeing you work yourself to the bone back in November, I'll do whatever it takes to get you a little more help! I think I could afford a couple greys and some eye circles—it MIGHT even give me a little more GRAVITAS for the stage.
There ain't no off button on this sparkle, DON'T you fret. But I also don't want you thinking the way you are is flawed or wrong or anything!! I'll admit to having at least a LITTLE love-blindness (you're perfect and it's everyone else's loss if they don't realize that on first glance??), but I've also met a heck of a lot of folks in the world, and everyone's at least KINDA weird and broken in some way. Which I genuinely think is part of what makes this world beautiful!! Even now!! So your weirdness is just part of who you are and part of what makes YOU beautiful.
Niko Kostopoulos I LOVE your blabber and I want to hear every goshdarn word cluttering up that gorgeous head of yours. When other people ain't yapping at me, I'm yapping away in my own head, and I can get QUITE tired of hearing my own voice. I got WAY too many opinions!!
But makeup and imagination could do that without you hurting yourself! Seriously, don't do what I do!
[...] That's really nice of you to say, thank you? I gotta be honest, I've kinda always thought of my weirdness as something I have to overcome (and for others to learn to tolerate) rather than something, y'know, positive? I do wish I could sparkle a little more like you, but I'll settle for being able to bask in those perfect rays of sunshine of yours!
I want to hear all your opinions! Unfortunately the more comfortable I get, the more I talk, so please take it as a compliment and don't let me hog the entire conversation! Do you have any favourite records? If you had a signature outfit, what would it be? What's your favourite mythical creature?
While I got my doubts any amount of work could be more stressful than our year on the road, I PROMISE I won't run myself ragged. I MIGHT start hanging around the Lobby more to ask passersby if they happen to know any itinerant doctors though.
And I'll bask in your beautiful sunshine!! Also if you ever need to outsource chatter and schmoozing and all that extrovert business, you've got one on call now who would be just THRILLED to help AND thinks you've got a cute butt.
I keep on comin' back for more conversation don't I??? But okay, these are VERY important questions that MUST be answered before we pledge our lives to each other, so:
- Kate Bush's Hounds of Love, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street OCR (1979), Hall and Oates' H20. - You know that purple sweater I wore to the first Summit meeting?? That, but in a variety of different colors. I used to dress like a youth pastor who's DEEP in denial about his sexuality. - Ooooh. Sphinx? A sphinx feels right. She feels like someone I want to know but will FOREVER keep her secrets from me. Also, I love cats!!
Careful, or people might start thinking you're building a doctor harem.
I really hit the jackpot, didn't I? Will you ask the restaurant for an extra pickle for me, too? Maybe you can tell me when my attempts at schmoozing devolve into trying to tell people unwanted lizard facts, 'cause I don't always notice.
They're very important! I need to know all these things about you just in case Whitney brings back game shows and we wind up on the Newlywed Game.
I love this. Excellent choices. I feel like I understand a whole new side of you.
You know I love the purple sweater and I hope that someday you do get to have it in every color. What does a youth pastor who's DEEP in denial about his sexuality dress like?
You do love cats! Are you also a fan of riddles? What about the musical Cats?
My turn? Hmmmm.
The Replacements' Let It Be (1984) (which had Androgynous on it, a Midwestern queer anthem!), The Breeders' Last Splash (1993), Fugazi's 13 Songs (1989).
I wish I could say it was the leather jacket, but I feel like now it's wearing a tailored suit at stuff that doesn't require it 'cause it's all I had on hand at the time.
Maybe a werewolf? I have a soft spot for misunderstood monsters. Wolves are actually very nurturing and devoted animals!
Yes, yes, and yes. But what I'll do is tell you to save the facts for me, 'cause I really DO wanna know the weird lizard facts!!
I think most of our competitors at the moment might just be dogs. If we're serious about this, we're gonna need to start setting folks up.
I should ALSO give credit to the Pet Shop Boys for understanding a 22-year-old me better than I ever could!! (It's a Sin might have changed my life??? Which is kind of wild now that I'm thinking about it????)
TOO many sweater vests, I don't know why I thought sleeveless knitwear was the wave of the future.
Riddles are fun, but I'm terrible at solving them!! And Cats... well, I've never seen it sober, and I don't drink anymore, so!! I'll pass on any traveling productions. SINGING it, however, requires NO alcohol and is a BLAST (you are, of course, MY magical Mister Mistoffelees)!
As for YOU:
You are immediately SO much cooler than me. I feel like I can SEE you at some grungy local concert because you're friends with the drummer.
Better to over-dress than under-dress!! And at least it looks good!! Folks underestimate how much just a little tailoring can do for an outfit.
You're so cute. Also werewolves are inherently queer-coded!! And I think at least one of the books I got you for your birthday is about werewolves!! [...] Lord I hope they're not like the werewolf stories Tegan asked me to read for them. Well, maybe not ALL of
I think you'd make for a very good polycule curator.
Oooh, careful. Don't get me started on lizards, because I have an endless supply of weird lizard facts (and weird facts in general).
You're so right. Who's first on your list? I think Arlo could use a date. He's [...] a little sad.
I love that so much. That song's amazing. Sometimes I wish I could be 22 again and hearing stuff for the first time. Maybe we could swap some lil gay mixtapes (did you ever do that back then?).
Oh noooooo, your arms must've been so cold! I've never quite understood what the point of those was, except maybe so the sleeves don't get all scrunkly under a jacket?
Did you ever go to one of those escape rooms? Or would they just stress you out? I don't know anything about Cats (the musical), so I'm going to take magical Mister Mistoffelees as a compliment!
I love bullet points.
Chicago had a great musical scene! I was friends with SO many grungy drummers. It was a great place for a little queer weirdos to meet other queer weirdos and make friends over alleyway beers.
It's true! I wish I knew how to do it! I'm just glad I'm still getting use out of that thing, 'cause it cost a fortune.
They are! Hiding your true nature because people think you're a terrifying beast (when actually they're just jealous because you're a powerful hunk). And I've read that one already! It was great! Thank you!
Oh no... what if I have to sit around and listen to you passionately describe niche subjects for the rest of our lives...
You know, I was thinking Edgar because he's the only other member of the troupe that managed to stay outta the smooch polygon situation. Do you think he and Arlo could fall in love??
How dare you remind me of my gay mixtape era!! (I'm not embarrassed about it, but I feel like I SHOULD be!!) (Anyway what better way to tell a boy you like him and would like him to know more about you than recording a dozen songs that make you feel something off the Quad radio!!)
That's what makes it even more ridiculous—I lived in Los Angeles! I didn't even NEED a jacket usually! Also I wore bowties sometimes. I might have been less youth pastor and more ventriloquist's dummy for a couple years there.
I didn't! But I BET I'd have fun as long as someone else was doing the solving and I was just there for MORAL SUPPORT. And Cats (the musical) is a LOT of nonsense, but it's IMPORTANT that you know Rum Tum Tugger and Mr. Mistoffelees are in love. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
And I love YOU.
In LA that was the overnight shift at an all-night diner. There'd usually be at least three aspiring actors, two struggling musicians, and a drag queen trying to glue her heel back to her shoe on any given night. Which somehow doesn't sound as cool as drinking beers in an alleyway with grungy drummers??
Well now you got your own personal tailor!! (You do have to share me with eight actors though.)
And the only way to kill us is with a tacky silver bullet (we deserve gold or platinum, obviously)! I'm glad the book was good though!! I was at least a little afraid it was gonna end up being one of those... alpha stories that Tegan keeps trying to tell me about and I refuse to listen because these ears belong to the Lord.
Then you might get sick of them! I'll have to make sure I keep my list of niche subjects up-to-date so that I don't repeat myself.
Ooooh, maybe? They're both very noble and heroic, they have good hearts, AND they're handsome. Arlo's divorced but I think he just needs to get back out there and meet someone outside of Prescott.
Don't be embarrassed by it! It's a rite of passage! I'm gonna figure out a way to make you one so that you can feel secondhand embarrassment instead.
Bowties are cute, though. As long as they're the proper ones and not pre-tied or clip-ons.
We would make a great team, then! I love solving puzzles but I'd do even better if I had a cutiepie cheering me on! I'm going to trust you on the cats' love lives. All I know is it's apparently a musical about singing cats that all want to die to go to cat heaven? Is that right?
I love you, too!!
That sounds fun, though! The camaraderie you get from working a terrible rush at a diner while short-staffed is nothing to scoff at!
Well, thank goodness for that! I can't go around looking like a guy who doesn't understand the importance of a good silhouette.
Maybe it's the tackiness that kills us. Also I have no idea what you're talking about and I'm guessing that maybe I want to keep it that way?
You are FAR AND AWAY my favorite doctor in the whole harem. (Don't tell the dentists. I don't count them as doctors.)
Repeat yourself all you want, handsome. Maybe I missed something the first time 'cause I was lost in your eyes, or 'cause a head this blond and gay ain't made for thinking, and I might need another lesson!!!
Honestly we should just have a singles mixer and lock all of 'em up in a room until at LEAST two others are engaged. Or at least smooching. That'll lead to marriage eventually.
You know I'm gonna listen to it in the RV until everyone gets sick of it and moves out and then we can have it ALL to ourselves!!
Of COURSE these were proper bowties, I'm a dork (and a wooden dummy), I'm not a HEATHEN. I think they're best saved for a proper cute occasion though.
That's [...] pretty much the plot?? The oldest cat in the junkyard has to choose who gets to go to the Heaviside Layer and be reborn, so the show is BASICALLY like going to cat church.
And you know what, I was a DARN good server!! I met so many interesting folks!! You got any good serving stories up your sleeve??
Thank the Lord, because you have a VERY striking silhouette and I need everyone to swoon over my man.
You do not want to know what I'm talking about and should actually banish these thoughts from your mind!!!
Finally, my life has meaning! I won't tell the dentists anything. Let them all think that they're the top docs.
Oh, don't say that. You're too pretty to waste your time listening to me recite Wikipedia from memory.
That's a GREAT idea! Valentine's Day is coming up...
That's a perfect plan! I'm going to make it extra sappy just to expedite the process!
Someday we can have a proper fancy dinner date and we can both wear proper bowties to our hearts' content!
Interesting! So does he kill the winner? Or how does it end?
I'm sure you were! Mostly I just flirted with old ladies for tips, and my mom tried to set me up with her friends' daughters by being like, "My boy's going to be a doctor someday!" (I don't think said daughters were ever consulted). One time I hit a robber with a frying pan like in a Bugs Bunny cartoon. What about you?
THANK YOU! I didn't survive this long to look lumpy! And I'm so glad you're also a snazzy dresser because it'd be a same to hide that figure.
They all just seem so sad! I couldn't possibly tell them I'm only setting up the polycule so my fiancé can get some rest!!
What else am I supposed to use these ears for?? Help me fill up the big ol' empty space between 'em!!
Oh gosh, I used to be SO good at Valentine's Day. I'm gonna have to think about what I want to do for you in order to preserve my reputation!!!!
And I will SIGH and lay on the floor (because my bed is a table during the day) and stare at the ceiling and giggle excitedly sometimes, JUST to annoy them. Also because I'm giddy and in love.
I bet you look so cute in a little bowtie... What's your favorite color to wear? I'm not NOT asking because I would love to make a cute outfit for you to one day wear to a proper little dinner date...
He... kinda takes the winner halfway to the Heaviside Layer?? Sometimes on stairs, sometimes on a tire, at least once it was just a flying saucer, and then Old Deuteronomy (a normal name for a cat) turns to the audience and starts just talking about how cats are just so much better than dogs, as we've learned tonight. But most of what we've learned tonight is just the names of a bunch of weird cats that don't deserve to go to heaven yet???
Oh that Sunday post-church rush was FULL of my future wives and in-laws, apparently!! (I WAS the only one who got more tips on Sundays though, I sure know how to charm a church lady!!) I DID get some Chick tracts as tips more than once, which I think is a WILD choice when you're dining in West Hollywood. I also found a handgun on the seat in a booth once??? Fully loaded and just... sitting there!! For an innocent young 33-year-old to find!!
I spent WAY too long trying to look good for gay LA to go hiding behind baggy t-shirts and jerseys for all those sport teams I definitely enjoy.
Now that ain't to say ALL horny werewolf stories need the banishing treatment...
Oooooh, maybe they could knock me out with a bit of their laughing gas, though...
All joking aside, you're like, one of the smartest people I've met so don't sell yourself short.
Oh no, that's coming up fast! I gotta step up my game!
We gotta get you a real bed to dangle your legs off and kick your feet.
I don't know. I default to black because I get decision paralysis trying to pick colours!
We didn't learn this story in Greek church! What kind of sins did the rest of the cats do that they're banned from the kingdom of cat heaven?
You too, huh? Man, if we ever get besieged by old church ladies, we are READY! Your cheeks are much more pinchable than mine, though. What did you do with the gun?? Did a church lady leave her glock unattended???
Well, all that hard work did not go to waste, 'cause now you're gay LA hot in some backwoods hole in rural Washington State. You're so powerful.
Oh, I like a good quality horny werewolf story, I won't deny that. But they gotta be classy about it.
As long as that's what you want!! Consent must be enthusiastic and mutual in my harem!!
Oh I ain't[...] You know how you're not used to hearing nice things about yourself so you get just a mite self-conscious when I tell you how amazing and thoughtful and brilliant and funny and interesting and handsome (and more!!!) you are?? [...] I'm not used to hearing that I'm smart or good-looking. So thank you!!
We could ALSO tell Valentine's Day it has no business here in our apocalypse, I'll celebrate the man I love any ol' day of the year!!
I think I'm starting to develop an attachment to the backaches the little bed gives me, it ain't healthy. HOWEVER!! If we finish the theater before too long, rumor has it there'll be a couple private rooms in there, and the LEAST they can do for their almost-fifty-year-old costumer is to give him space to dangle his legs off his bed and listen to his sappy mixtapes!!
I can pick out your colors!!! And all you'll have to do is stand there and look cute while I play Ferry Godmother and get you ALL dolled up.
And this is why all y'all are damned to Hell, for not knowing about the Jellicle choice. The cats, however, were just left to languish on Earth because they weren't as pathetic as Grizabella. Remember that when you're standing at the pearly gates, folks!!!
I gave the gun to the shift lead, I had an audition to get to!! Never heard from it again, so I ASSUME it was handed in to the proper authorities and Agnes got to brandish her righteous fury once more!!
All dozen times I went to the gym were NOT wasted and I DID get my money's worth. I was right to take out those payday loans!!
Gotcha, I WON'T be pulling out the unedited versions of Tegan's tales. Those are [...] not safe for human consumption.
I don't want to do anything else with them, mind you, I was just thinking about having a good nap.
Look, I get it but also: you are the smartest, best-looking, kindest and most talented person here, and I only have eyes for you... AND you have a perfect ass, so jot that down!
How about I celebrate you every day of the year and ALSO get you a silly stuffed gorilla covered in hearts that says "you drive me bananas" because you deserve it?
It's definitely the least they could do! Maybe you should play up how old and fragile you are to trick the younguns into giving you a better mattress (unless the older troupe person beats you to it).
That sounds like a lot of fun. Will you also sing a little mouse song so that I can get the full Disney princess experience?
Be pathetic, got it. I think I'm gonna win this heaven thing.
That, or your shift lead used it to rob a bank. Kind of a toss-up.
You are a genius and ahead of your time! Now you're an apocalypse king!
And if they're not on board, maybe we can get someone to siphon your blood again!!
Well if I can trust anyone's word, it's that of the best doctor in Trumbull County!! [...] Thank you. For being you, for sticking it out the last couple years, for not falling in love before I got here, and for the compliments that I simply CANNOT believe. My butt is extremely old!!
Only if I can make you a stuffed lobster that says you're CLAWSOME!!
Chenin Blanc and I are DEFINITELY gonna have it out in the Thunderdome if she tries to keep me from having the comfiest mattress. She sleeps in the bed now!!
OBVIOUSLY, but with the fair warning that singing WILL attract roaming theater kids.
Nooo you can't go to the Heaviside Layer without your Rum Tum Tugger—I honestly can't believe they've never changed that name.
Huh. I was assured sudden departure in a Ferrari was unrelated. You don't think she'd just LIE, do you??
I just wish folks would notice me for my sparkling wit a little more often...
I've actually been disallowed from reading any of those anime stories 'cause I ask too many questions.
Oooh, that's a good idea! Then I'd be doing my medical duty as well as shirking it!
Well, nobody was worthy enough to fall in love with in the past two years, nor was any ass worth complimenting, so make of that what you will! You're the cream of the crop.
Ohohoho, I've always wanted one of those.
Maybe we could put a cast on your leg just for added sympathy points. She's had her share of nicest bed!
Is that how you get more of you? Are you like a theatre kid Pied Piper?
Rum Tum Tugger does NOT sound like the sort of guy who'd be in the Bible.
Are you kidding me? Have you MET restaurant people?
Surely most people have noticed, even if they're pretending they don't out of jealousy. And if they haven't noticed, they are stupid and wrong. So there.
I think I'm too old to understand any of that sort of thing.
Check me out for more loopholes for getting out of work!! I learned them all from the restaurant industry and never used a single one myself.
Not a single one worth complimenting?? But there's so many farmers and firefighters around!!
She let me use her gripper to open a jar of pickles, stay tuned to see if that means I'm in her good graces OR I'm in her DEBT!!
It's how UCLA got me. I heard singing and they registered me for three theater classes before I came to my senses!!
Maybe I should reread my Bible. I thought Rum Tum was Adam's first wife??
Now that you mention it I think I was an accessory to a bank robbery. But I barely touched the gun so my prints probably ain't on there!
You know that's what my mama always told me when the kids teased me on the playground?? Guess folks have just been jealous of me my whole life.
That's what I keep saying!! But then CB acts like she gets it and I'm telling you she don't get a dang thing, our brains are all old and hardened and cannot absorb this!!
I can't actually picturing you malingering. You're too wholesome.
Yeah, but they're not gay LA hot, or fluent in Shakespeare.
Oh no, that's how she gets you!
Oh yeah, Pritzker got me by promising me one of them fancy white coats and then I was stuck like this forever.
Is that the one who got kicked out for being a Tugger?
I'm sure it's fine, we're pardoning a murderer so I'm sure being an accessory to bank robbery is probably just peachy.
That's the spirit! I hope they're shivering in a cave somewhere thinking about you living your best life. Funny semi-related story: one time, I saw one of my elementary school bullies running a hot dog stand, and then a stray dog showed up and stole a bunch of his hot dogs. And then he chased after the dog and his hat blew off and got run over by a cab. It was delightful!
None of this was invented yet in our day and I refuse to learn about it now! After everything we've been through!!
I'm such a terrible liar, I can't believe I became an actor, I can't believe I did IMPROV.
Ah, so the butt needs CONTEXT. And I'm GREAT in context!!
I'm ready to fight! I'm ready to... cry, to be honest, that's my only move.
Did you know you could just buy them? Or did they need proof off MD before you get access to the COMFIEST of coats??
Oh yeah, she got Skimbleshanksed right outta that Jellylorum (these are also cats from Cats)!! (Also that was very funny!! My improv training requires me to keep a straight face and keep the bit going so I can only say this here, as an aside!!)
In FACT, it might even get me respect from the feral children who live in rusty containers!!
I hope that dog had THE best day after that. I hope YOU had the best day after that!!
We already had to learn how to change music formats too many times, we can't fit anything else in!!!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
DM 1/2
There ain't no off button on this sparkle, DON'T you fret. But I also don't want you thinking the way you are is flawed or wrong or anything!! I'll admit to having at least a LITTLE love-blindness (you're perfect and it's everyone else's loss if they don't realize that on first glance??), but I've also met a heck of a lot of folks in the world, and everyone's at least KINDA weird and broken in some way. Which I genuinely think is part of what makes this world beautiful!! Even now!! So your weirdness is just part of who you are and part of what makes YOU beautiful.
Niko Kostopoulos I LOVE your blabber and I want to hear every goshdarn word cluttering up that gorgeous head of yours. When other people ain't yapping at me, I'm yapping away in my own head, and I can get QUITE tired of hearing my own voice. I got WAY too many opinions!!
DM 1/2
[...] That's really nice of you to say, thank you? I gotta be honest, I've kinda always thought of my weirdness as something I have to overcome (and for others to learn to tolerate) rather than something, y'know, positive? I do wish I could sparkle a little more like you, but I'll settle for being able to bask in those perfect rays of sunshine of yours!
I want to hear all your opinions! Unfortunately the more comfortable I get, the more I talk, so please take it as a compliment and don't let me hog the entire conversation! Do you have any favourite records? If you had a signature outfit, what would it be? What's your favourite mythical creature?
DM 1/2
And I'll bask in your beautiful sunshine!! Also if you ever need to outsource chatter and schmoozing and all that extrovert business, you've got one on call now who would be just THRILLED to help AND thinks you've got a cute butt.
I keep on comin' back for more conversation don't I??? But okay, these are VERY important questions that MUST be answered before we pledge our lives to each other, so:
- Kate Bush's Hounds of Love, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street OCR (1979), Hall and Oates' H20.
- You know that purple sweater I wore to the first Summit meeting?? That, but in a variety of different colors. I used to dress like a youth pastor who's DEEP in denial about his sexuality.
- Ooooh. Sphinx? A sphinx feels right. She feels like someone I want to know but will FOREVER keep her secrets from me. Also, I love cats!!
Now YOUR turn.
DM 1/2
I really hit the jackpot, didn't I? Will you ask the restaurant for an extra pickle for me, too? Maybe you can tell me when my attempts at schmoozing devolve into trying to tell people unwanted lizard facts, 'cause I don't always notice.
They're very important! I need to know all these things about you just in case Whitney brings back game shows and we wind up on the Newlywed Game.
My turn? Hmmmm.
DM 1/2
Yes, yes, and yes. But what I'll do is tell you to save the facts for me, 'cause I really DO wanna know the weird lizard facts!!
I think most of our competitors at the moment might just be dogs. If we're serious about this, we're gonna need to start setting folks up.
As for YOU:
Well, maybe not ALL ofDM 1/2
Oooh, careful. Don't get me started on lizards, because I have an endless supply of weird lizard facts (and weird facts in general).
You're so right. Who's first on your list? I think Arlo could use a date. He's [...] a little sad.
I love bullet points.
DM 1/2
Oh no... what if I have to sit around and listen to you passionately describe niche subjects for the rest of our lives...
You know, I was thinking Edgar because he's the only other member of the troupe that managed to stay outta the smooch polygon situation. Do you think he and Arlo could fall in love??
And I love YOU.
DM 1/2
Then you might get sick of them! I'll have to make sure I keep my list of niche subjects up-to-date so that I don't repeat myself.
Ooooh, maybe? They're both very noble and heroic, they have good hearts, AND they're handsome. Arlo's divorced but I think he just needs to get back out there and meet someone outside of Prescott.
I love you, too!!
DM 1/2
Repeat yourself all you want, handsome. Maybe I missed something the first time 'cause I was lost in your eyes, or 'cause a head this blond and gay ain't made for thinking, and I might need another lesson!!!
Honestly we should just have a singles mixer and lock all of 'em up in a room until at LEAST two others are engaged. Or at least smooching. That'll lead to marriage eventually.
DM 1/2
Oh, don't say that. You're too pretty to waste your time listening to me recite Wikipedia from memory.
That's a GREAT idea! Valentine's Day is coming up...
DM 1/2
What else am I supposed to use these ears for?? Help me fill up the big ol' empty space between 'em!!
Oh gosh, I used to be SO good at Valentine's Day. I'm gonna have to think about what I want to do for you in order to preserve my reputation!!!!
DM 1/2
All joking aside, you're like, one of the smartest people I've met so don't sell yourself short.
Oh no, that's coming up fast! I gotta step up my game!
DM 1/2
Oh I ain't[...] You know how you're not used to hearing nice things about yourself so you get just a mite self-conscious when I tell you how amazing and thoughtful and brilliant and funny and interesting and handsome (and more!!!) you are?? [...] I'm not used to hearing that I'm smart or good-looking. So thank you!!We could ALSO tell Valentine's Day it has no business here in our apocalypse, I'll celebrate the man I love any ol' day of the year!!
DM 1/2
Look, I get it but also: you are the smartest, best-looking, kindest and most talented person here, and I only have eyes for you... AND you have a perfect ass, so jot that down!
How about I celebrate you every day of the year and ALSO get you a silly stuffed gorilla covered in hearts that says "you drive me bananas" because you deserve it?
DM 1/2
Well if I can trust anyone's word, it's that of the best doctor in Trumbull County!! [...] Thank you. For being you, for sticking it out the last couple years, for not falling in love before I got here, and for the compliments that I simply CANNOT believe. My butt is extremely old!!
Only if I can make you a stuffed lobster that says you're CLAWSOME!!
DM 1/2
Well, nobody was worthy enough to fall in love with in the past two years, nor was any ass worth complimenting, so make of that what you will! You're the cream of the crop.
Ohohoho, I've always wanted one of those.
DM 1/2
Not a single one worth complimenting?? But there's so many farmers and firefighters around!!
DM 1/2
Yeah, but they're not gay LA hot, or fluent in Shakespeare.
DM 1/2
Ah, so the butt needs CONTEXT. And I'm GREAT in context!!
DM 1/2
You're great in context and out of context. You're just great!