trustmeimadoctor | ic contact

Oh, I didn't wear them at work. Didn't want blood and puke seeping through the holes.

Respectfully: BOOOOOOOOOOO.

What a delightful mental image. What did you wear? Has to hurt to be on your feet that long.

Don't hate the players, hate the game.

Like, the ugliest orthopedic dad shoes you've ever seen. They've worked out great for running around in the apocalypse, though. 80-hour work weeks ain't nothing compared to this.

Oh, I'll continue to hate it, but I could never hate you. (Also, just to be clear, I'm kidding with the BOOOOOOOOs.)

They should start using you to promote the brand, the top 10 shoes every scavenger needs in the apocalypse according to Dr.Niko! I think we need to get you those crocs back though, maybe at the summit we can all mutually agree not to move a single muscle so you can get 24 hours of uninterrupted relaxation.

No keep at it with the Booos, I'm a fan of a good boo.

Oh, hell yeah! Do you think they'd give me free shoes as a kickback? These ones are probably on their last legs. I'd settle for crocs, though. Those were comfy as hell.

Booooooooo capitalism, then! You know, I always advocated for free healthcare for everyone, so this kinda feels like a monkey paw situation. I won! But at what cost?

I wonder what the stateside factories are like, just a mountain of unused crocs. A croc Buffett.

So we should blame you is what I'm hearing.

That would be the dream! I could get a pair in every colour! Probably not great for the winter, though.

I mean, you can. I think I might be cursed.

There's enough fur to improvise.

Really don't see how that's possible, things seem to be coming up Niko.

That's very true! And they do make the hospital ones without holes in them.

Sure, for now. By next week, I'll probably lose an arm or something!

Well don't put that out into the universe. I'm pretty sure you're the only one who could reattach it.

Yeah, and don't get me started! I've got nightmares about that (getting an injury only I can fix, but I can't do it, so they just leave me in the woods to die).

I'm getting really strong Survivor vibes from you about Prescott.

Oh shit, like they're gonna vote me off the island?

No, like you think they will, when I'm pretty sure they're drawing straws about who gets to cuddle you in the bunks. That's what I assume happens in the bunks, anyway.

Oh, I wish. Mostly, it's snoring and farting.

I'm kinda the odd man out though. And I'm old, so I'm a liability, so I gotta make up for that. Which generally means diving headfirst into fresh horrors every day so that they can't see me sweat.

I'm sorry you feel you need to prove yourself somehow. You seem to do it every day just by being yourself, Niko.

I sincerely hope so! But thank you, that means a lot.

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