Oh no, then you might get sand in your hair, and that's so hard to wash out :(
[...] When we were traveling, we'd just sleep in the RV or cars most nights. Sometimes you could hear the zombies just on the other side of the wall, bumping into it or scratching or whatever they do all night, and in the morning someone would have to go and clear em out before we could get a move on.
So now when I hear sounds outside the RV, my brain just jumps right to some of the bleakest nights we've had these last couple years and gets me wondering if I'm gonna be jumping at shadows and bumps around every corner for the rest of my natural life.
That sounds terrifying. I feel awful that you had to experience that. I think it's completely understandable that you're still a bit on edge, especially since the situation is kind of ongoing? Like, you were hurt by a zombie attack just a couple of weeks ago, I don't think it's unreasonable that it's still fresh in your mind. It's good that you have friends with you, though. I hope that you'll be able to feel (and be!) safe again someday.
Right back at you! I gotta say, after living in a constant state of fight-or-flight for the past forever, being next to you is the first time I've felt safe enough to let my brain just... I dunno, be still. In years. I slept like a baby, and that's no small feat. Usually I lie awake, or have nightmares, or get up and do something because I feel like I won't have to think about the bad stuff so much if I have something productive to do, even if it's something stupid.
And honestly, I didn't dare have much hope for the future before, but with you I feel like I've got something to look forward to. I hope I can help you build a future that you'll be able look forward to as well. I'll help with your theatre, I'll help with your dream house, I'll do anything I can to help you have the life you deserve. You're a good person, Blythe, and you deserve every good thing.
Maybe someday we'll feel safe again. Our frazzled nerves will heal. They say that the best revenge is living well, and maybe we'll live SO well and and have so many beautiful things in our life that someday all the blood and gore and monsters will seem like a distant memory.
I'm glad I can help make your brain slow down! When you're stressed I want to just put my hands on your head and suck it all out so I can take care of it for you. Which might create an endless loop of trying to de-stress each other?? [...] I try the productivity trick, too. Though usually I'm either trying to exhaust myself or trick my brain into thinking I'm helping the greater effort in some small way. It makes for a clean kitchenette and a lot of embroidery.
I love you. I want to give you everything (even if so far I've only managed some needlework) and make you feel safe enough to just be still for the rest of our lives. Because, honestly, my dream house is any one with you, where we can sit on the couch and talk about something we're passionate about, then go to bed and forget about the outside world until morning.
And if we've got that, I dunno how our life could be anything other than the best goshdarn revenge ever devised.
Well, hopefully all the mutual de-stressing keeps us afloat long enough to get to a point where we're experiencing less constant stress! At least your productivity trip is making the world a more beautiful place. Usually I'll find something to organize, or make lists, or try to learn a new skill (I got pretty good at making origami birds and nautical knots recently, not that I'll ever use either).
I love you too, and I hope you don't feel too much pressure to look after me. You don't need more stress! But yeah, that's my dream house too, and the hope that that can be a possibility someday is keeping me going. I've spent my entire life doing everything that other people wanted, so it'd be nice to maybe have something for me (feels wrong to say!)? It'd be nice if we could both get some peace.
I look forward to asking you how your day was in person and picking out curtains.
I don't feel pressure to look after you!! You deserve something good just for you, and I WANT to give you an entire stress-free day, or weekend, or week, or month, or year, or lifetime... even if that means our house isn't as obsessively clean and organized and filled with nautical knots as it could be. Though the knots seem like they could actually be useful AND aesthetically pleasing. You should show me some!!
If you had the chance to do one big, stupid, frivolous, pointless thing to make yourself happy — and I mean anything, money and actual feasibility NOT a factor at all — what would you do??
And I want to give YOU an entire stress-free day, or weekend, or week, or month, or year, or lifetime, so it looks like we're going to have to do a lot of relaxing once we're allowed to someday! I can teach you the knots, since you've been so kind in teaching me how to sew. I've never actually been on a sailboat, but maybe they'll come in handy someday.
That's a good question... Hmm. Well, for one: throwing you the big, frivolous wedding of your dreams would also make ME happy (although that isn't at all stupid or pointless!!!), and for another: it'd be nice to take a little vacation. Leave the phone at home. Not let anyone know where they can reach me so that nobody can ask me to work. I realize this is selfish.
Heck yeah! What are you thinking? Patterned? Not patterned?
That sounds like a challenge I'm up for!! I'm gonna welcome you home every day with a kiss and a backrub and another weird story about my friends/coworkers, and you're gonna forget that the world hasn't always been so good to you.
I've been ON a sailboat but not in any kind of authoritative capacity, and I don't think I will be again any time SOON, but I bet they'd let us use nautical knots on land. As long as no one tells the Sailors Union!!
That ain't selfish, that's self care!! People do that all the time!! [...] Maybe we could take a frivolous little honeymoon after our big frivolous wedding.
Oh, patterned for SURE. Tackiness is a dead concept, time to live my maximalist dream!!
Oh, that sounds heavenly. Are you sure I haven't died?
Well, I think that makes you the sailboat expert now. If we ever wind up on a boat, I'll be your first mate. Until then, maybe we can use our rope skills to level up our lassoing.
I would LOVE to go on a frivolous little honeymoon with you! Are they going to let you take a few nights off?
Yeah, that's the spirit! How do you feel about wallpaper?
You'll have to tell me, you're the medical professional!! I'm pretty sure my heart's still beating though. I feel it flutter every time I talk to you.
Oh no, if we wind up on a sailboat we might be in trouble. We'll DEFINITELY be in the middle of the ocean, lassoing fish for dinner.
Everyone else got time off for mono (don't tell them I told you it was mono) and zombie bites, they HAVE to let me take a little time off to disappear with my new husband. But if not... well, I never ran away before, could be time to finally be a REBEL.
LOVE to look at wallpaper, terrified of putting it up wrong and obsessing over bubbles for the rest of my days.
Good thing we've been practicing all those cowboy skills then!
Oh, then they definitely HAVE to let you, although I feel like you should also get the opportunity to feel like a rebel for once. Surely you've earned it.
Hmmmm you bring up a very good point, and one that I had not considered. Thank goodness you're the craft expert or I might've done something horrendous.
I know I love to love you, and if that makes me adorable then I'll wear that label with PRIDE!!
My cowboy skills are a C+ at BEST. If we have to rely on them for survival, maybe I can be your cheerleader. I believe in your lassos!! Rope that mackerel!!
Does it seem a little counter to the SPIRIT of rebellion if I wait until I've earned my rebellion to cash it in??
Oh nothing you do could ever be horrendous. If I make a mistake then I'll obsess over it. If YOU make a mistake, it's a beautiful quirk that makes me think of you every time I see it.
I'm gonna make up for every moment you felt anything less than treasured and adored. You're an incredible person!! Time for you to be informed!!
You know, this is starting to sound like an ideal honeymoon the longer we're stranded. Maybe we should consider the marooned package, and then we'll HAVE to just relax and not work!
We're never gonna be any good at a darned thing again with this attitude, and that's just fine with me.
I'm fighting every instinct to go "nooooooooo I don't deserve this!" right now because of you. If you think I'm worth something, then there's probably something to it.
Wouldn't that be nice? As long as we were allowed to bring lots of sunscreen. And you know, maybe some other stuff so that we don't have to eat coconuts the whole time.
I would be happy to just be mediocre and comfortable with you.
Good!! 'Cause there is!! I feel like [...] you reminded me how to breathe when I didn't know I'd been holding my breath.
Oh sunscreen is an absolute must, I've definitely lost my base tan in this cold Pacific Northwest. Do you think we'd ever get any good at cooking coconut? Or are we officially helpless and should consider bringing packaged foods?
You really have a way with words, you know that? I didn't know it was possible to feel safe again until I met you. I know I do the jokey 'nothing bothers me!' thing, but I genuinely find it very difficult to be open with most people. Not with you, though. I trust you.
Maybe Nat could get us set up with some special science sunscreen that'll still let you get your tan on. And I'm not sure... what can you make out of coconut, other than cookies?
No, YOU'RE incredible! I'm mostly just insufferable.
Aw shucks, I'm just a hopeless romantic who's read too many love stories. [...] I'm really glad you trust me not to hurt you or do anything to make you regret it though. It honestly means a lot to me!!
Could make coconut... oil?? To keep our hair lustrous and our skin moisturized and youthful??
If you're planning on lulling me into a false sense of security so that you can steal my kidney, you're succeeding! [...] Seriously though, thank you. You truly have a gift. You have really positive energy! It's impossible not to believe every pretty little word that comes out of your pretty little mouth.
Oooooh, now we're talking! And then once we get back, we can set up a little artisan shop so everyone can be as moisturized as we are.
Positive energy does NOT attract near as many kidneys as it used to, I gave up that game ages ago. This is all real, all natural, and all about letting you know how special you are!!
Oooh, what should we name our shop? Keep in mind copyright is dead, so we can steal any name we want!!
Oh no, I checked with the committee, that's your title.
Didn't meet anyone worth choosing until I met you.
Okay, first, I am 100% ALL in on puns. Shakespeare used puns!! Second, now that the pressure is on all I can think of is Couple o' Coconuts. Coconoco Flow? Cococompany. As the Coco Flies. I might be a little punchy from lack of sleep.
A victim of my Gay Agenda... I'm glad you were so easy to convert. I was ready to make a REAL fool of myself mooning after you, full of longing sighs and finding ridiculous excuses to talk to you at every Quad-wide event.
Do you not keep a notebook by your pillow so you can remember your midnight thoughts?? I have piles of nonsense scribbles, like "bean market" and "where did the cicadas go??"
How abooouuut... Cutest Smile in the Whole Wide World??
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
DM 12/28, ~3 AM
[...] When we were traveling, we'd just sleep in the RV or cars most nights. Sometimes you could hear the zombies just on the other side of the wall, bumping into it or scratching or whatever they do all night, and in the morning someone would have to go and clear em out before we could get a move on.
So now when I hear sounds outside the RV, my brain just jumps right to some of the bleakest nights we've had these last couple years and gets me wondering if I'm gonna be jumping at shadows and bumps around every corner for the rest of my natural life.
DM 12/28, ~3 AM
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And honestly, I didn't dare have much hope for the future before, but with you I feel like I've got something to look forward to. I hope I can help you build a future that you'll be able look forward to as well. I'll help with your theatre, I'll help with your dream house, I'll do anything I can to help you have the life you deserve. You're a good person, Blythe, and you deserve every good thing.
Maybe someday we'll feel safe again. Our frazzled nerves will heal. They say that the best revenge is living well, and maybe we'll live SO well and and have so many beautiful things in our life that someday all the blood and gore and monsters will seem like a distant memory.
DM 12/28, ~3 AM
I love you. I want to give you everything (even if so far I've only managed some needlework) and make you feel safe enough to just be still for the rest of our lives. Because, honestly, my dream house is any one with you, where we can sit on the couch and talk about something we're passionate about, then go to bed and forget about the outside world until morning.
And if we've got that, I dunno how our life could be anything other than the best goshdarn revenge ever devised.
DM 12/28, ~3 AM
I love you too, and I hope you don't feel too much pressure to look after me. You don't need more stress! But yeah, that's my dream house too, and the hope that that can be a possibility someday is keeping me going. I've spent my entire life doing everything that other people wanted, so it'd be nice to maybe have something for me (feels wrong to say!)? It'd be nice if we could both get some peace.
I look forward to asking you how your day was in person and picking out curtains.
DM 12/28, ~3 AM
If you had the chance to do one big, stupid, frivolous, pointless thing to make yourself happy — and I mean anything, money and actual feasibility NOT a factor at all — what would you do??
OH!!! I can make curtains for our home!!!!
DM 12/28, ~3 AM
That's a good question... Hmm. Well, for one: throwing you the big, frivolous wedding of your dreams would also make ME happy (although that isn't at all stupid or pointless!!!), and for another: it'd be nice to take a little vacation. Leave the phone at home. Not let anyone know where they can reach me so that nobody can ask me to work. I realize this is selfish.
Heck yeah! What are you thinking? Patterned? Not patterned?
DM 12/28, ~3 AM
I've been ON a sailboat but not in any kind of authoritative capacity, and I don't think I will be again any time SOON, but I bet they'd let us use nautical knots on land. As long as no one tells the Sailors Union!!
That ain't selfish, that's self care!! People do that all the time!! [...] Maybe we could take a frivolous little honeymoon after our big frivolous wedding.
Oh, patterned for SURE. Tackiness is a dead concept, time to live my maximalist dream!!
DM 12/28, ~3 AM
Well, I think that makes you the sailboat expert now. If we ever wind up on a boat, I'll be your first mate. Until then, maybe we can use our rope skills to level up our lassoing.
I would LOVE to go on a frivolous little honeymoon with you! Are they going to let you take a few nights off?
Yeah, that's the spirit! How do you feel about wallpaper?
DM 12/28, ~3 AM
Oh no, if we wind up on a sailboat we might be in trouble. We'll DEFINITELY be in the middle of the ocean, lassoing fish for dinner.
Everyone else got time off for mono (don't tell them I told you it was mono) and zombie bites, they HAVE to let me take a little time off to disappear with my new husband. But if not... well, I never ran away before, could be time to finally be a REBEL.
LOVE to look at wallpaper, terrified of putting it up wrong and obsessing over bubbles for the rest of my days.
DM 12/28, ~3 AM
Good thing we've been practicing all those cowboy skills then!
Oh, then they definitely HAVE to let you, although I feel like you should also get the opportunity to feel like a rebel for once. Surely you've earned it.
Hmmmm you bring up a very good point, and one that I had not considered. Thank goodness you're the craft expert or I might've done something horrendous.
DM 12/28, ~3 AM
My cowboy skills are a C+ at BEST. If we have to rely on them for survival, maybe I can be your cheerleader. I believe in your lassos!! Rope that mackerel!!
Does it seem a little counter to the SPIRIT of rebellion if I wait until I've earned my rebellion to cash it in??
Oh nothing you do could ever be horrendous. If I make a mistake then I'll obsess over it. If YOU make a mistake, it's a beautiful quirk that makes me think of you every time I see it.
DM 12/28, ~3 AM
Maybe I could rope us a dolphin who'll swim us to a nice island getaway or something while we're dreaming big.
You're a very considerate bad boy, and I love that about you.
That's funny, because I feel exactly the same way about everything you do compared to everything I do.
DM 12/28, ~3 AM
You know, this is starting to sound like an ideal honeymoon the longer we're stranded. Maybe we should consider the marooned package, and then we'll HAVE to just relax and not work!
We're never gonna be any good at a darned thing again with this attitude, and that's just fine with me.
DM 12/28, ~3 AM
Wouldn't that be nice? As long as we were allowed to bring lots of sunscreen. And you know, maybe some other stuff so that we don't have to eat coconuts the whole time.
I would be happy to just be mediocre and comfortable with you.
DM 12/28, ~3 AM
Oh sunscreen is an absolute must, I've definitely lost my base tan in this cold Pacific Northwest. Do you think we'd ever get any good at cooking coconut? Or are we officially helpless and should consider bringing packaged foods?
Too late, you're incredible.
DM 12/28, ~3 AM
Maybe Nat could get us set up with some special science sunscreen that'll still let you get your tan on. And I'm not sure... what can you make out of coconut, other than cookies?
No, YOU'RE incredible! I'm mostly just insufferable.
DM 12/28, ~3 AM
Could make coconut... oil?? To keep our hair lustrous and our skin moisturized and youthful??
Insufferably cute.
DM 12/28, ~3 AM
Oooooh, now we're talking! And then once we get back, we can set up a little artisan shop so everyone can be as moisturized as we are.
Says the cutest man on the planet???
DM 12/28, ~3 AM
Oooh, what should we name our shop? Keep in mind copyright is dead, so we can steal any name we want!!
Oh no, I checked with the committee, that's your title.
DM 12/28, ~3 AM
How do you feel about puns? Actually what am I saying, you're the Good At Words Guy here, don't let me name anything.
Well, I'm handing it back in protest because it's yours.
DM 12/28, ~3 AM
Okay, first, I am 100% ALL in on puns. Shakespeare used puns!! Second, now that the pressure is on all I can think of is Couple o' Coconuts. Coconoco Flow? Cococompany. As the Coco Flies. I might be a little punchy from lack of sleep.
Then I'm gonna make a new award just for you.
DM 12/28, ~3 AM
Oh, I love all of these! Good thing we're putting these all in writing since I never remember any of my 'brilliant' ideas from 3am!
I already engraved "Biggest Sweetiepie" and your name on a trophy, so don't call it that.
DM 12/28, ~3 AM
Do you not keep a notebook by your pillow so you can remember your midnight thoughts?? I have piles of nonsense scribbles, like "bean market" and "where did the cicadas go??"
How abooouuut... Cutest Smile in the Whole Wide World??
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