If I can go really wild, in this universe, I'm the mysterious auteur behind a number of beloved, obscure cult films who dropped off the face of the map and now runs an idiosyncratic mom-and-pop video shop where I recommend forgotten horror and art house films to the neighbourhood scamps.
Or, option 2: I'm the owner/proprietor/chef behind a combination used bookstore/comfort food restaurant, where you can hang out and read a book and have a pint and a deep dish pizza or something. Also all the food has vegan options so that I can actually try deep dish in this universe. Also also I want to be one of those cool chefs that are allowed to have hand tattoos or whatever.
Oh that first option is the DREAM. And if Monroe already dropped off the face of the map once then we'll DEFINITELY be able to escape whatever we're escaping. Also in both scenarios I'm the regular who comes in all too often because I have a big crush on the owner and don't know what to do about it.
Okay so, dream world, I make designer clothes for porcelain dolls. I'm not sure what the market for that would be like NOW, but there's gotta be some old lady out there with rooms overflowing with naked dolls who needs a seamster and designer on call.
But there's ALSO a world where I never moved to California, I stayed Christian, and I go full revivalist preacher on the circuit. Not an IDEAL scenario, but I bet I coulda been the next Marjoe Gortner if my parents had thought of it!!
I'm digging this AU. Are you also eventually going to put all the clues together and figure out Monroe's secret identity?
Ooooh, I love this. You should do it anyway! I used to buy Z all the American Girl dolls. I love a tiny bespoke wardrobe. Maybe I'll find you some old lady porcelain dolls for Christmas... 👀
Even if it's not ideal, you would have been good at it! You have a trustworthy face! I would follow you!
Well if I didn't I don't think I'd be worthy of Monroe's attentions!! I don't want to blow up his spot though, so I'll just leave cryptic notes for him that could easily be misinterpreted as a threat, thereby leading to wacky romcom shenanigans!!
Oh the troupe is gonna get SO jealous if they see me carefully dressing a doll as a fragile Victorian orphan... Which is an emotion they can and should use for their ACTING!
And if I called upon ya to reach into your pocket and pull out your biggest bill for the one, the only, the DIVINE SON OF THE LORD, would you do that? Would you sacrifice, as is your duty? Would you sow those seeds of your FAITH so that it will come back to you ten, twenty, a HUNDRED-fold in the future? Would you come to the front and lay your hands on this lowly sinner finding their salvation and speaking in those tongues they should know NOTHING about?? (You have to read that all in a fire-and-brimstone voice or it just sounds like I'm just asking you a series of increasingly weird questions.)
Ooooh oooooh oooooh! What if he uses the threatening notes as inspiration to write his comeback screenplay?
All the more reason to do it! I'll find you an extra-haunted one, just 'cause!
I don't know what half of that means, but I imagined it in The Voice and I'm convinced! Take all my money*! (*The $4.78 that's been in my pocket for the last two years.)
And then, at the premiere, they meet face-to-face, fully aware of who the other is but it still feels like the first time...
I hope it moves in the dead of night and invades my dreams!!
The LORD will return this to you, the LORD knows how you've scrimped and saved for the last two years to put those nickels and dimes together, the LORD will reward you. (I'll stop now, all I can hear is my father complaining about Pentecostals and that is NOT conducive to flirting with my boyfriend.)
I might know a couple actors that would be willing to workshop scenes...
Oh I miss having a pet. This could fill that void!!
Now THAT sounds like something that will not sound like my father AND might be best heard in person. And I DID hear there's something going on over at Prescott I should check out today.
Well Evening's the only one who can do a proper southern accent, and Edgar's almost got the right hair to make it work. Though maybe I should try and change up the accent in this universe. I spent enough time in California, I could probably morph into a surfer and no one would even NOTICE.
I had a cat in LA! A beautiful Persian named Angela Lansbury. (Keep in mind I was only out to one member of my family and yet none of them batted an eye at that.)
The real question: will that be as sexy as being scolded?
The coasts will always have a little piece of my heart...
I don't :( My phone and wallet and most of that was backstage when we had to run, so I only have my memories of Angie. Maybe someone in Sacramento found it and became INSPIRED to paint portraits of her though. She was REAL regal looking!!
[...] I've heard that from folks before, but it usually wears off roundabout the third time I forget to take the trash out or take another low-paying gig that won't even pay the phone bill or refuse to address the elephant in the room. [...] So what I'm saying is I'll get you to properly scold me for my sins sooner or later!!
[...] Yeah, I know how you feel. Lake Kelenqua is perfectly lovely, but I've lived on both the Atlantic and the Pacific and it feels so darn tiny sometimes.
Ooh! A criminal sketch artist depiction of my beautiful little devil! I really do feel like this would fulfill a dream she didn't know she had, just like it would REALLY fulfill a dream I didn't know I had!!!
Do you think your face looks angry? Or do folks tell you that? 'Cause all I can see is the kind and extremely helpful man who gave up his tent to walk me home (300 feet away). But I might be a lil biased.
Out of all the places you've been, where's your favorite?
I've been to enough art museums to know cats, when painted, often have the faces of angry humans. So keep that in mind.
Those folks clearly weren't looking into your eyes, which are DEVASTATINGLY kind and warm if I do say so myself. Also, seeing as I can barely grow scruff, your beard is actually very necessary for MY facial warmth.
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If I can go really wild, in this universe, I'm the mysterious auteur behind a number of beloved, obscure cult films who dropped off the face of the map and now runs an idiosyncratic mom-and-pop video shop where I recommend forgotten horror and art house films to the neighbourhood scamps.
Or, option 2: I'm the owner/proprietor/chef behind a combination used bookstore/comfort food restaurant, where you can hang out and read a book and have a pint and a deep dish pizza or something. Also all the food has vegan options so that I can actually try deep dish in this universe. Also also I want to be one of those cool chefs that are allowed to have hand tattoos or whatever.
What about you?
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Okay so, dream world, I make designer clothes for porcelain dolls. I'm not sure what the market for that would be like NOW, but there's gotta be some old lady out there with rooms overflowing with naked dolls who needs a seamster and designer on call.
But there's ALSO a world where I never moved to California, I stayed Christian, and I go full revivalist preacher on the circuit. Not an IDEAL scenario, but I bet I coulda been the next Marjoe Gortner if my parents had thought of it!!
DM, 12/11
Ooooh, I love this. You should do it anyway! I used to buy Z all the American Girl dolls. I love a tiny bespoke wardrobe. Maybe I'll find you some old lady porcelain dolls for Christmas... 👀
Even if it's not ideal, you would have been good at it! You have a trustworthy face! I would follow you!
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Oh the troupe is gonna get SO jealous if they see me carefully dressing a doll as a fragile Victorian orphan... Which is an emotion they can and should use for their ACTING!
And if I called upon ya to reach into your pocket and pull out your biggest bill for the one, the only, the DIVINE SON OF THE LORD, would you do that? Would you sacrifice, as is your duty? Would you sow those seeds of your FAITH so that it will come back to you ten, twenty, a HUNDRED-fold in the future? Would you come to the front and lay your hands on this lowly sinner finding their salvation and speaking in those tongues they should know NOTHING about?? (You have to read that all in a fire-and-brimstone voice or it just sounds like I'm just asking you a series of increasingly weird questions.)
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All the more reason to do it! I'll find you an extra-haunted one, just 'cause!
I don't know what half of that means, but I imagined it in The Voice and I'm convinced! Take all my money*! (*The $4.78 that's been in my pocket for the last two years.)
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I hope it moves in the dead of night and invades my dreams!!
The LORD will return this to you, the LORD knows how you've scrimped and saved for the last two years to put those nickels and dimes together, the LORD will reward you. (I'll stop now, all I can hear is my father complaining about Pentecostals and that is NOT conducive to flirting with my boyfriend.)
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Maybe it'll attack your enemies for you! It loves and appreciates the fashion you make it!
Aw dang, I was gonna start scolding you about sin in Greek, but we can quit while we're ahead.
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Oh I miss having a pet. This could fill that void!!
Now THAT sounds like something that will not sound like my father AND might be best heard in person. And I DID hear there's something going on over at Prescott I should check out today.
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Maybe! What kind of pets have you had? I've never actually had time for pets.
Well, in that case I won't scold you. I'll tell you about how much Jesus loves charitable acts instead.
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I had a cat in LA! A beautiful Persian named Angela Lansbury. (Keep in mind I was only out to one member of my family and yet none of them batted an eye at that.)
The real question: will that be as sexy as being scolded?
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CUUUUTE! Do you have any pictures of her? She sounds like a little diva.
Hmmm, maybe not. I don't know if I could pretend to be angry at you, but I could try.
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I don't :( My phone and wallet and most of that was backstage when we had to run, so I only have my memories of Angie. Maybe someone in Sacramento found it and became INSPIRED to paint portraits of her though. She was REAL regal looking!!
[...] I've heard that from folks before, but it usually wears off roundabout the third time I forget to take the trash out or take another low-paying gig that won't even pay the phone bill or refuse to address the elephant in the room. [...] So what I'm saying is I'll get you to properly scold me for my sins sooner or later!!
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Aww, let's hope so. Or maybe we could learn to paint together, and I'll draw her for you from memory like one of those criminal sketch artists.
That sounds like a challenge! I'm honestly not a very angry person, despite what my face looks like.
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Ooh! A criminal sketch artist depiction of my beautiful little devil! I really do feel like this would fulfill a dream she didn't know she had, just like it would REALLY fulfill a dream I didn't know I had!!!
Do you think your face looks angry? Or do folks tell you that? 'Cause all I can see is the kind and extremely helpful man who gave up his tent to walk me home (300 feet away). But I might be a lil biased.
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Okay, well I will get right on that. How hard can it be to draw a cat?
People have told me the beard's intimidating, but I just wanna keep my face warm? Thank you, though.
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I've been to enough art museums to know cats, when painted, often have the faces of angry humans. So keep that in mind.
Those folks clearly weren't looking into your eyes, which are DEVASTATINGLY kind and warm if I do say so myself. Also, seeing as I can barely grow scruff, your beard is actually very necessary for MY facial warmth.
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